February 2012
79 posts
Anonymous asked: davey... i <3 you.. will you get naked for me?
Anonymous asked: Slllllluuuuuuuuttttttt
Anonymous asked: Twinnkkkkkkkkkk
Anonymous asked: I want to phelm in you ass, fill it with cement so i can have you ass wrinkles as a ice lolly mould. so i can suck your juicy ass. and fuck myself with a cheese grater whilst binging on your pubic hair and purging using the asslolly
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I constantly tell everyone I encounter to pay their pussy bill, leading them to look at me like this,
Much like Tila Tequila's vagina, my sleep schedule...
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Do you guys remember that hit MTV show, Undressed?
Yeah, me too. I remember watching it at nine years old and feeling like a naughty boy. I re-found the website that slowly, but surely uploads all the episodes. I’m creaming my jeans (literally). If any of y’all haven’t seen it, here’s your chance. Fall in love.
Get Naked (I Got a Plan)
Anonymous asked: I've always figured you more as a Spice Girl.. Davey Spice?
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All I ever wanted out of life was to be a member...
Anonymous asked: Wait, cuddling? You know what happens after we start cuddling?!? Scandalous.
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Guys, one of you need to come sleep over, I'm...
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Convos with Dat Hoe Sue (my grandmother)
DHS: Did you see the penis on TV last night?
Me: I thought I blocked those channels on your TV?
DHS (in Italian): On the news you stupid ass. Some man put his penis in the oven. Asshole.
Me: You have a real bad attitude today, did you take your Metamucil?
DHS (in Italian): Fuck off.
Anonymous asked: So wait.. was that list starting at the bottom of the pyramid or the top?
sharapwna asked: Who would be the Maddie, Chloe, Mackenzie, etc. to your Abby Lee?
Anonymous asked: omg.. you are so totally abby lee.. just without the breast
Me yelling at Chris and Mark.
abby-leesus-christ:
mrbritneyspears:
yes…me blacked out ^
Me yelling at Chris and Mark.
I've had senioritis since kindergarten.
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Me at Rihanna.
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Where can I get my own Channing Tatum?
Mom's been drinking my wine again...
godspeedtoyou asked: omg dave i told you that was a year ago! i thought it was pretty clear that i like you now god
godspeedtoyou asked: What about when you attacked my friend Gwyneth!?
Guys, I'm in the mood to make out.
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I'm the Kristen Wiig version of Kathie Lee...
markitwithazzz asked: You've been selling stories about me to the press.
Anonymous asked: OMG, you are just so gay, but I'd still do you. =)
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I just got to play Madonna in real life.
Me: You're reductive.
Amanda: What does that mean?
Me: Look it up.
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So I make the CDs at work, because I’m the only who with great musical taste, and I put ‘Pay Your Pussy Bill’ on one of them (obviously). Today I was working by myself for a while and one of the corporate bosses came in and whatever, so I’m cleaning beds and whatnot and I come up front and realize ‘Pay Your Pussy Bill’ is blasting in the lobby with my boss in...
Anonymous asked: If you were a pokemon, I'd choose you first.
Happy Valentine's Day...!
…To all of you! Today I consider you all my boyfriends and girlfriends. Thank you for being great friends to me, sticking around, and putting up with asshattery. It means a lot. Y’all have been amazing to me, and I greatly appreciate it.
Love you all
Anonymous asked: I'm shocked you don't have a Valentine. You're one of the cutest, funniest, and sweetest guys on here.
Guys, the Disney Princess Valentine's I bought...
I got cute Disney Princess Valentine's Day cards...
godspeedtoyou asked: how long have we been following each other omg how have you not gotten fed up with me yet dave
aconstantransit asked: BACK UP ANON. HE'S MINE. <3
Anonymous asked: Be my valentine, betch.
Anonymous asked: Boxers or briefs?.... Or sexy undies?
sparkmark asked: i have friends with the press
sparkmark asked: whats your freak number bbgurl
godspeedtoyou:
thank god lady garbage did not win phEW!!!
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