I Don't Get It...

Dave | 25 | CT | Soccer Mom | Pinot Grigio Supporter | Hoedown Throwdown ProfessionalFinds himself funny, attractive, and smart. Is not funny, attractive, or smart.Say hello to the boy that I am...TwitterFacebookInstagram: MrBritneySpearsSnapChat: MrBritneySpearsSkype: MrBritneySpears.:Get inside my dirty mind:..:Give me something good:.

July 23, 2014 at 11:36pm
2,354 notes
Reblogged from elmakias


So I’ve been talking to this girl


idk why but I’m screaming



So I’ve been talking to this girl


idk why but I’m screaming

July 21, 2014 at 11:42pm
12 notes

For the fifth time this year, I had to get a nail removed from my tire.  A fifth time.  My tires get nailed more than I do.

3 notes

are you bailing on this gullah gullah trip? dudeeeee.

It’s not you, it’s me.  I accidentally insulted polliwogs and now Binyah-Binyah is pissed at me.  But don’t worry, I’m going to do some damage control and we can fulfill this move.

8 notes

Any of my California followers want me to live with them?  Your boy needs outta CT.

26,565 notes
Reblogged from gaydirectioner


When I’m listening to Britney Spears in my car and one of my friends tells me to change it


(via pussyriot)

19 notes
Reblogged from femmewitch


someone come rail me into the next century tbh

(via godspeedtoyou)

July 20, 2014 at 10:43pm
26 notes
hai, miss you guys.

hai, miss you guys.

July 17, 2014 at 12:35am
13 notes

We have finger scanners at work that members are verified with and it doesn't work till we process it
Member: (Realizes she scanned before being told) Oops, I prematurely fingered you!
Me: It's not the first time, and it won't be the last.

July 15, 2014 at 10:14pm
500,043 notes
Reblogged from assgod

my main question is has anyone ever fantasized about having sex with me

(Source: vans-supreme, via rockettripsandbattleships)

29 notes

I don’t want anyone to ever forget this happened.