I Don't Get It...

Dave | 25 | CT | Soccer Mom | Pinot Grigio Supporter | Hoedown Throwdown ProfessionalFinds himself funny, attractive, and smart. Is not funny, attractive, or smart.

September 15, 2014 at 10:39pm
12 notes

I opened a bottle of champagne and I have every intention of finishing the whole thing.

September 11, 2014 at 11:35pm
5 notes

Anonymous said: Lets see dat ass <3

2 notes

Anonymous said: I want you like my eggs, hard boiled.

when you’re readyd come n get it

135,229 notes
Reblogged from askboxmemes

Reblog if you want a creepy compliment in your ask.

(Source: askboxmemes, via carolfuckingbrady)

September 10, 2014 at 11:37pm
34,383 notes
Reblogged from kingorb

Sometimes u just gotta be a ho

(Source: kingorb, via theonyxxhotel)

September 8, 2014 at 11:18pm
148 notes
Reblogged from coochiecrack

(Source: coochiecrack, via trillhousewives)

359 notes
Reblogged from needtorewind

(Source: needtorewind, via j-e-s-s-e-j)

September 5, 2014 at 8:50pm
11 notes

Tonight my room is Planet Hollywood and I am Britney Spears.  Tickets start at one bottle of Pinot.

September 2, 2014 at 11:09pm
1,309 notes
Reblogged from i-luh-ya-britney-jean


Britney Spears | The Albums

(via nictheprincess)

19 notes

Insanity Is the New Black

One of my friends (female) has this really hot boyfriend, and the three of us are pretty good friends and hang out often.  I know better than to have feelings for him, but deer lawd he’s beautiful.  Anywhore, we play flirt whenever we hang and I adore it.  We took a picture together one night (where he slapped my ass right after!) and I show it to some of my friends and tell them that him and I are dating.  Fun all around!

I laugh to myself often, because I’m mentally unstable, and because I always compare to myself to Lorna Morello from Orange Is the New Black.  How she tells everyone about her fiancé ‘Christophaaa’, when in reality they had one date and she starts stalking him after that (she even caused an explosion trying to kill him and his new girl!) It’s just like that, but all I say is that we’re dating.  Nothing too crazy.  Yet.  Stay tuned/pressed.

He’ll always be my Chirstophaaa.