I Don't Get It...

Dave | 25 | CT | Soccer Mom | Pinot Grigio Supporter | Hoedown Throwdown ProfessionalFinds himself funny, attractive, and smart. Is not funny, attractive, or smart.Say hello to the boy that I am...TwitterFacebookInstagram: MrBritneySpearsSnapChat: MrBritneySpearsSkype: MrBritneySpears.:Get inside my dirty mind:..:Give me something good:.

July 23, 2014 at 11:36pm
2,354 notes
Reblogged from elmakias
rimrimrim:

elmakias:

So I’ve been talking to this girl

me

idk why but I’m screaming

rimrimrim:

elmakias:

So I’ve been talking to this girl

me

idk why but I’m screaming

July 21, 2014 at 11:42pm
12 notes

For the fifth time this year, I had to get a nail removed from my tire.  A fifth time.  My tires get nailed more than I do.

11:26pm
3 notes

are you bailing on this gullah gullah trip? dudeeeee.

It’s not you, it’s me.  I accidentally insulted polliwogs and now Binyah-Binyah is pissed at me.  But don’t worry, I’m going to do some damage control and we can fulfill this move.

11:22pm
8 notes

Any of my California followers want me to live with them?  Your boy needs outta CT.

9:59pm
26,565 notes
Reblogged from gaydirectioner

gaydirectioner:

When I’m listening to Britney Spears in my car and one of my friends tells me to change it

image

(via pussyriot)

7:47pm
19 notes
Reblogged from femmewitch

femmewitch:

someone come rail me into the next century tbh

(via godspeedtoyou)

July 20, 2014 at 10:43pm
26 notes
hai, miss you guys.

hai, miss you guys.

July 17, 2014 at 12:35am
13 notes

We have finger scanners at work that members are verified with and it doesn't work till we process it
Member: (Realizes she scanned before being told) Oops, I prematurely fingered you!
Me: It's not the first time, and it won't be the last.

July 15, 2014 at 10:14pm
500,043 notes
Reblogged from assgod

my main question is has anyone ever fantasized about having sex with me

(Source: vans-supreme, via rockettripsandbattleships)

8:25pm
29 notes

I don’t want anyone to ever forget this happened.